At a funeral, we become part of a temporary nation of people, founded on the same sad history. Death is what causes the ache in the heart but Shadowloss is what causes tears in the soul. Shadowloss can be the people that betray you, or don’t show up. The people that do show up when they shouldn’t. The people that don’t keep you safe. The systems that set you up to fail. The loss of safety, of family—that breaks the soul. Death comes for us all, but not all of us are visited by Shadowloss.

I’ve seen losses tear friends, families and communities apart. But, it’s not the loss that brings them back together, it’s the grief.

You see, the tragedy is what destroys you, and its the grief that rebuilds you.

The secret for me, at least, is not to pursue happiness, but to pursue joy. You can’t control happiness, but you can control joy. No one can infiltrate the things that bring you joy because joy springs from within, and happiness lives outside ourselves.