Queen Elizabeth’s Death and the Complexity of Public-Figure Grief
Queen Elizabeth has been a constant figure, a thread woven into the fabric of so many lives, for nearly a century. It makes sense that folks might find themselves somewhat emotional—perhaps even crying—over her death. This emotional reaction you experience might surprise you, and/or the emotional reactions of others might leave you confused. This is normal, and is apt to happen whenever any public figure dies.
The Death of a Public Figure affects Our Sense of Stability
When someone notable dies, so too does a sliver of the stability that comes along with their presence in your life for so long. How many times had you heard mention of “The Queen” come across the TV growing up? Queen Elizabeth’s life spanned about 5 generations. She is central to many family, country and popular cultures. She spent part of Christmas with many people, beaming right into people’s living rooms. She has become part of holiday traditions. She also is a cross-generational reference point. People of all ages know who the Queen is. With her death, many little details of life will change.
Supporting Expressions of Grief is Healthy
While you may not personally connect with the expressions of grief related to her death, as a community member, it’s always good to support those that are expressing grief, rather than to admonish or shame someone for “grieving someone you never even knew.” Grief is not something anyone can control. We can control, however, how we treat a griever.
The Death of a Public Figure Can Make You Angry
It is also normal to feel anger over a role someone played within broader systems of oppression, especially when that is of central focus for you. It might feel like you are being othered when folks don’t seem to acknowledge the challenging or negative aspects of someone’s life. This is not because it’s not important, but because it is a mostly globally accepted norm to not speak ill of the dead, especially in the immediacy of their loss.
Deaths of Public Figures Can Trigger Death Anxiety
Sometimes the death of notable people can leave you with a feeling you can’t quite identify. It might be death anxiety. Deaths of notable people remind us that we too, will die. These events are reminders that we’ve aged, and are aging. So let yourself cry if you need.
The Death of a Public Figure Can Remind You of Loved Ones That Have Died
With the death of Queen Elizabeth, many people are experiencing a resurfacing of grief connected to their own Grandmothers or Grandparents. It’s also normal to see people framing Queen Elizabeth as a sort of psuedo-grandmother, or a Grandmother of a country. What’s important to note here is that this isn’t so much about people dramatizing the death of someone, it’s an expression of the intimacy of the death of a public figure. Most of us don't fully realize the connections we’ve made over the years to a notable person, until they die. This is true for people we know in real life too—it’s often not until their death that we fully realize their impact on us and our lives. This is human nature.
Queen Elizabeth has had a huge impact and may her memory be a blessing. Condolences to those who mourn her, and to the places she dedicated her life to.
